To Remember, To Honor, to Share; Mall Ceremony Recognizes Children of Fallen Troops, Descendants of War Dead

By Paul Duggan

The Washington Post - May 22, 2006

Of the many thousands of U.S. soldiers and sailors killed in far-flung battles since the country's birth, Alvera Reyes knew only one.

She raised him from age 7, when he came to live with her as a foster child, and watched him leave for the Army in the summer of 2002, a month after his high school graduation in Cass Lake, Minn.

"You know it's dangerous," she said of the war in Iraq. "You know people are dying over there. But you never think it's going to be yours. You always think yours are going to make it home safe."

His name was Dwayne McFarlane Jr. He was a 20-year-old Army specialist when a roadside bomb ended his life Jan. 9, 2005.

"We came here because we wanted to see how the nation is honoring these soldiers and to see the other families," said Reyes, 57, who joined hundreds of people on the Mall yesterday for a ceremony called "A Time of Remembrance." Sponsored by a White House commission, the event was the first of what organizers said will be an annual gathering to honor those killed in the nation's military conflicts since the Revolutionary War.

Reyes stood in the crowd with Donald Bellanger, 58, her companion of more than 30 years and the man McFarlane called Dad. The couple rode trains from northern Minnesota to attend the ceremony.

Seeing the many other families of fallen troops who had come to Washington from across the country, Bellanger was close to tears.

"It's hard to explain . . ." His voice trailed off. "It's nice, you know? Just to be here."

Ezra M. Hill, one of the African American combat pilots in World War II known as the Tuskegee Airmen, sang the national anthem on a giant stage near the Washington Monument. Former prisoners of war from three wars were honored. And retired diplomat L. Bruce Laingen, one of 52 hostages held at the U.S. Embassy in Tehran from November 1979 to January 1981, praised the sacrifices of the nation's Foreign Service officers.

"They asked me to speak to you for about two minutes," Marine Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said from the stage. He was there to present gold medals to children of men and women killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. "I don't know how I can possibly tell you what's in my heart in two minutes," Pace said. "The truth is, if they gave me two hours, I couldn't complete the task."

The White House Commission on Remembrance said more than 3,000 relatives of troops killed in Iraq and Afghanistan registered to attend the event. Scores of children, many wearing T-shirts with photos of a dead parent, received the medals.

More than a dozen relatives and descendants of Americans who have died in the service of their country since its founding also took the stage, beginning with one of Nathan Hale's descendants.

There was Alexandra Roosevelt Dworkin, a great-niece of Quentin Roosevelt, who was a son of President Theodore Roosevelt. Quentin Roosevelt, a young World War I fighter pilot, died when his plane was shot down in France.

There was Kelly Sullivan Loughren, a granddaughter of one of the five Sullivan brothers, Navy sailors who died together when the cruiser USS Juneau was torpedoed in the South Pacific in 1942.

And there were the parents of Army Spec. Toccara R. Green, 23, the first female soldier from Maryland to be killed in combat during the Iraq war. Green, whose family lives near Baltimore, was riding in a motor convoy when bombs exploded near it Aug. 14.

"I think it's really, really wonderful that they're doing something to remember these people," said Jackie Syverson, 30, whose husband, Army Maj. Paul R. Syverson III, was killed in Iraq on June 16, 2004. "It really means a lot for the kids to get these medals and to come out and see that people remember."

She attended the ceremony with her son, Paul Syverson IV, who just turned 9, and her 2-year-old daughter, Amy. "He was home when Amy was born," Syverson said of her husband, a 32-year-old Green Beret. "She was 7 weeks old when he was killed."

Ella Cepeda, 25, stood nearby with Aaron N. Cepeda Jr., 6, and Diana Cepeda, 52. They came to honor Marine Sgt. Aaron N. Cepeda Sr., 22, husband of Ella, father of Aaron Jr. and son of Diana. A suicide bomber killed him May 7, 2005, two months after he arrived in Iraq.

Cepeda, a graduate of Texas A&M University, was a reservist whose unit had been activated. His wife said: "All our men and women who died over there, they had families. And just to come here and see that people remember them -- it's a great thing."

Diana Cepeda said that shortly before her son was killed, he received a letter informing him that he had been accepted to medical school at the University of Texas.

Cherishing memories of the departed is something she is used to.

"I had three sons," she said. "The other two died due to medical reasons. He was my first born and my last surviving child."